RSS

Tag Archives: #putitinmymouth

Egg Clouds!

Egg Clouds!

It was WORLD EGG DAY the other day so I celebrated EGGcordingly.  I get EGGstatic about eggs. I may be a little EGGcentric as far as eggs go. I was also in no mood for EGGsasperating my day so I whipped up some fARRRGHing EGG CLOUDS because the are so EGGstremely easy and fast.  I used to make these back in the day.. but had forgotten about them entirely until the interwebs reminded me.  Some people are laying them on “bacon blankets” or as I call them “bacon quilts”.   I use sausage for them because that’s how my mother did it.  She knew how to do shit right. It must be genetic… because I cover my egg clouds with spicy hollandaise sauce and that very well may be EGGzactly the way they were meant to be eaten.  I also had just recently made my first Hot Sauce batch… I call it “Dragon Blood Isle” because it’s made from roasted green scotch bonnets, juicy red dragon fruit, Ommegangs Red dragon Ale… and some other secret treasures.  I added this sauce to my hollandaise, but you can do what you want… be creative people. You don’t have to do it my way, but by all that is sEGGcred… just do it! Paint some happy little clouds. I believe you can do it.

……..in-greed-ients:

  • 4 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup shredded parm
  • 1/2 cup chopped cooked sausage fingers
  • 1/2 cup chopped chives
  • salt, pepper, garlic, sage

……..the egg magic:

  1. Separate the kids by putting whites in 1 large bowl and yolks in their own shell cups in a separate small bowl.
  2. Whip the white kids asses until stiff peaks form. I mean we need these to be inappropriately stiff and perky.
  3. Gently Fold in cheese, chives and sausage, it’s not a mixing contest y’all.
  4. Spoon into 4 mounds on parchment-lined baking sheet; make a deep well in center of each.
  5. Bake at 450 degrees for 3 minutes

………..second half

  1. Take them out and lay 1 yolk to each well… it’s like handling testes….ever so gently…
  2. season with your special flavo flav
  3. Bake until yolks are just set, 2 to 3 minutes.
  4. drizzle with mutha lovin hollandaise sauce….here is the FASTEST recipe for that…..Easy AF Hollandaise
  5. Masticate, Swallow, Digest, Repeat!

IMG_2639

 

Tags: , , , ,

Dragon Fruit & Cheesecake Pannacotta!

Dragon Fruit & Cheesecake Pannacotta!

Do you wanna look like a fucking dessert pro? How about an easy dessert to put into tiny cups for a party or event? I gotcha covered. May I present to you….. Cheese cake pannacotta with a dragon fruit yogurt compote. This is as simple as making a fruit sauce and jello…so don’t be lily liver’d about trying it. The flavors of these two layers together are perfectly balanced and it makes you look fancy as fuck when you layer them right. I had a hard time finding good quality dragon fruit this week.. some were mushy and weird. Every time I finally find some and they aren’t where I put them in the kitchen…im like:

I like the purple/pink meated fruits more because they are sweeter but all I found was the white ones so I added some pomegranate juice to make it magenta like it should be. Dragon fruit / Pitaya fruit is the fruit of several cactus species from places my broke ass will never get to sail to… like Thailand. It’s not too sweet, kinda like a kiwi but still great for dessert. Every once in a while the Captain gets a sweet tooth. I also have an unquenchable thirst for more culinary knowledge so I am always trying new things. I’m just trying to make tasty AF food while still making better choices and anytime you can find a way to stuff your rotting carcass with more fruit and veggies is good right? 

.……..in-greed-ients on the bottom (the taker):

  • 3 cups cream (oh yeah)
  • 1/2 of a 3 oz packet sugar free cheesecake jello
  • 1 tsp, vanilla essence
  • 1/3 cup sugar (or more if you want)
  • 2½ tsp, plain gelatin
  • 4 tbsp, water

……….in-greed-ients on top (the giver):

  • 1/3 cup, sugar
  • 1 whole lemon juice
  • Zest of 1 lemon
  • ¼ cup, water
  • 1 dragon fruit, chopped – leave a slice or two for garnish
  • if you have white dragon fruit you need some thing pink…..Example: food coloring, pomegranate juice, beet juice
  • the rest of the plain gelatin pack (should be a tsp or so) 
  • 3 tsp water
  • 1 cup (honey or coconut noosa is awesome) yogurt
  • ½ cup, milk

……the giggly pink magic:

  1. In a pan, combine the first 6 ingredients mentioned for the Dragon fruit yogurt compote and cook till it reaches a thick saucey consistency.
  2. Take it off the heat and keep it aside.  Allow it to cool
  3. Sprinkle gelatin over the water in a small bowl and keep it aside for 5 mins.  Allow it to bloom.
  4. add yogurt and milk with the gelatin and whisk until combined well.
  5. Add dragon fruit compote to the yogurt mix and whisk well.  Put it in the fridge to let it congeal into a creepy consistency.

……..the cheesecake magic:

  1. add gelatin to water in a bowl, whisk and let bloom.
  2. In a sauce pan, add cream, vanilla essence and sugar.  Cook until it gets to a slow boil.  Do not overheat it.
  3. Remove from heat and add it to the gelatin mixture and whisk it nicely till the gelatin dissolves
  4. add cheesecake jello and whisk.
  5. Pour this white sauce in goblets or shot glasses. If you prefer to give it an angle effect, place the glasses tilted in a muffin pan or a dish with sides and a towel, and pour the mixture into the glasses.
  6. Refrigerate till set. maybe a few hours, maybe all night long.. who knows. 
  1. when that layer is firm, add pink giggly stuff to the top with a spoon, add a dragon fruit slice as garnish and AVAST YE! So it be done!

 

Tags: , , , , ,