A pirates life for me!, Brunch like you mean it, Cast Iron love, Crew Favorites, Dirty Pirate Hooker Meals, Do you even sauce bro, Egg zachary, Holiday Celebrate, pirates, Uncategorized

EMU EGG SHAKSHUKA

I am not a traditional wench, as you may have noticed. So when I get an idea to do a “traditional dish” from some other country or region, I’m probably going to twist it up, and do it my way… and this system works for me.  Some people get offended that I don’t follow recipes and I change theirs… but I’m already over this “offended” period of the 2000’s.  Get over it. It’s adventure time! So if you are an adventurous eater / cook.. then you and me should be friends. I am always looking for a new thing to try.. an new hot sauce to use and a new way to do things. This weeks #doyouevensaucebro hot sauce company spotlight is on Voodoo Chile Sauces and their Bhuty Thyme tomato based hot sauce! It tastes like grandmas cookin… if your grandma is a spicy as mine. Speaking of traditional… I LOOOOOVE cast iron especially my passed down LODGE cast iron.  The pirate in me wants to cook everything in a perfectly seasoned IRON pan… dutch oven or skillet. So when I received this deliciously interesting EMU EGG (among many other awesome things shown below) from a local Emu farm (I support buying local when ever possible), I knew I was going to do something with it in my cast iron skillet. There’s something very paleolithic about these ginormous eggs… I fucking lub them.  I had been wanting to make a Shakshuka again for a while… this was it… THANKSGIVING WEEK, the perfect chance to make a dish meant for sharing with others. So I invited the crew over and we grubbed for dinner / neighborsgiving.  So what if it wasn’t for breakfast, I break the rules! You should too.. follow along mates.. here’s the skinny:

 

…….in-greed-ients:

  • 8 oz Chorizo, squish that shit into the LARGE cast iron and fuck it up with a wooden spoon
  • 1Tsp oilve oil
  • 1 small sweet onion, diced
  • 1 small red pepper,  diced – a small jar of roasted red peppers works great too
  • 1 small bulb garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup sherry
  • 1 can diced tomatoes, chopped & not drained (I also used some jarred golden tomatoes from the emu farm and split this part)
  • 1 can drained chickpeas
  • 2 baby bella mushrooms -sliced 
  • 2tsp brown sugar
  • 1tsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp coriander
  • 1 tsp mexican oregano
  • 2 tsp cumin
  • a couple of splashes of hot sauce – I like it hot so mo is betta- BHUTY THYME (clickit)
  • 1 emu egg, but I know yall ain’t gonna get one so… 4 – 6 free-range eggs
  • 1 cup feta.. crumbly, salty and awesome
  • fresh culantro  / also called shado beni, (a stronger cilantro falvor) leaves to garnish 
  • half an avocado for garnish 
  • toasted NAAN is my choice of dipping bread.. but you do what you want.

 

…….. shake that shuka:

  1. Heat a large CAST IRON skillet and fry the chorizo until the oils start releasing and the meat browns. Remove the sausage and put baby in a corner for a bit.
  2. Add the olive oil to the pan of orange oil and gently fry the onion for about 3 minutes until softened. Add the red pepper and garlic & continue to fry for a further 2 or so minutes until they too are softened. Return the chorizo to the pan and briefly fry.
  3. Add the sherry and allow the liquid to (mostly) cook off.
  4. Add the tomatoes w liquid, sugar, chickpeas, shrooms, seasonings, and adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper if your feeling fiesty… Allow this to bubble on a gentle heat for about 20 minutes. This is where you have a shot and a dance break. SSSSHHHAka khan – tell me somethin good!
  5. Now, if you are adventurous and you’ve gotten an emu egg, you will need to dremel it open.. it’s kind of like brain surgery.  Easy peasy, right. Then gently pour the egg into a buttered frying pan & fry your emu egg until the white is almost done, then gently transfer it to the top of the shakshuka to finish poaching in the sauces. My asshole egg yolk popped but.. it’s actually ok because this much runny yolk would have grossed out my neighbors whom I was sharing this with.  Check out my shitty vid of my dremel vs emu egg action. 

     

  6. but.. if you didn’t get an emu egg, just make several indentations in the top of the shakshuka with the back of a ladle and break your eggs into the holes. Mix the egg white around a bit to loosen and spread… and don’t breaking the damned yolk, that’s eggicide and I would just toss the whole damned thing out if the yolks are popped. Just sayin. Here’s my quail egg mini cast iron shakshuka breakfast the next morning…foog
  7. Cook for a further 3 or so minutes and until the egg whites have hardened. If necessary put a lid on your pan to speed up the process.
  8. Scatter plenty of feta over the monstrosity, then the chopped culantro and the lovely avocado.. then scoop it out onto some warm naan, or what ever.  I served mine with a smoked white wine.. but that… is a whole other blog. 🙂 winr

Drink up me hearties…yo ho! 

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…. as you can see, I really love ALL of the Voodoo awesomesauces, even when they are backwards.  IF you think your worthy… Join my FB group: “Do you even sauce bro” and follow me on IG: the_bomb_noms

NOMASTE! 

Breakfast, Breakfast is my first love, Brunch like you mean it, Egg zachary, Holiday Celebrate

Egg Clouds!

It was WORLD EGG DAY the other day so I celebrated EGGcordingly.  I get EGGstatic about eggs. I may be a little EGGcentric as far as eggs go. I was also in no mood for EGGsasperating my day so I whipped up some fARRRGHing EGG CLOUDS because the are so EGGstremely easy and fast.  I used to make these back in the day.. but had forgotten about them entirely until the interwebs reminded me.  Some people are laying them on “bacon blankets” or as I call them “bacon quilts”.   I use sausage for them because that’s how my mother did it.  She knew how to do shit right. It must be genetic… because I cover my egg clouds with spicy hollandaise sauce and that very well may be EGGzactly the way they were meant to be eaten.  I also had just recently made my first Hot Sauce batch… I call it “Dragon Blood Isle” because it’s made from roasted green scotch bonnets, juicy red dragon fruit, Ommegangs Red dragon Ale… and some other secret treasures.  I added this sauce to my hollandaise, but you can do what you want… be creative people. You don’t have to do it my way, but by all that is sEGGcred… just do it! Paint some happy little clouds. I believe you can do it.

……..in-greed-ients:

  • 4 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup shredded parm
  • 1/2 cup chopped cooked sausage fingers
  • 1/2 cup chopped chives
  • salt, pepper, garlic, sage

……..the egg magic:

  1. Separate the kids by putting whites in 1 large bowl and yolks in their own shell cups in a separate small bowl.
  2. Whip the white kids asses until stiff peaks form. I mean we need these to be inappropriately stiff and perky.
  3. Gently Fold in cheese, chives and sausage, it’s not a mixing contest y’all.
  4. Spoon into 4 mounds on parchment-lined baking sheet; make a deep well in center of each.
  5. Bake at 450 degrees for 3 minutes

………..second half

  1. Take them out and lay 1 yolk to each well… it’s like handling testes….ever so gently…
  2. season with your special flavo flav
  3. Bake until yolks are just set, 2 to 3 minutes.
  4. drizzle with mutha lovin hollandaise sauce….here is the FASTEST recipe for that…..Easy AF Hollandaise
  5. Masticate, Swallow, Digest, Repeat!

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A pirates life for me!, Brunch like you mean it, Eat your veggies, Egg zachary, Put it in your mouth, Stuffing stuff in stuff

Beet Risotto Stuffed Acorn Squash!

Y’all know by now that I like to stuff stuff in stuff…then eat it. This morning I awoke with a great hankering for something nutty and woodsy and savory. It also happens to be the day after the supreme court ruled that  Gay Marriage is legalized! So there’s a reason to celebrate with a colorful meal. I used all the colors of the rainbow accept indigo… because blueberries would taste fucking AARRGGFUL in this dish. I know squash is usually a fall favorite but I love squash year round and you would too if you knew what’s good for you. Acorn squash is rich in vitamins, minerals, dietary fiber and antioxidant compounds. A diet with a high intake of the nutrients provided by acorn squash may decrease the risk of a number of serious medical conditions. To read more about the awesomeness of acorn squash see here: acorn squash is awesome. I made some badass beet risotto a couple of days ago and couldn’t wait to stuff it into stuff so here it is…

…..in-greed-ients:

  • 1 large acorn squash
  • 6 cups chicken broth
  • a lot of EVOO (I like truffle oil myself)
  • 1 12 cups Arborio rice large 
  • 1 large beet peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes
  • 1 small yellow onion chopped
  • 1 stalk celery chopped
  • whole clove garlic
  • 12 cup dry red wine (the rest of the bottle is for you)
  • Himalayan salt and pepper
  • goat cheese
  • thyme
  • a couple of rainbow cherry & grape tomatoes
  • an egg because eggs are fucking amazing.

…… the magic:

  1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.
  2. chop onion and celery beets and some garlic
  3. In a medium pot, warm the broth over medium heat.
  4. In a large skillet heat 3 tablespoons olive oil over medium high heat.
  5. Stir in the rice to coat with the oil, toast for 2 minutes.
  6. Add the beets, onion and garlic and cook until softened, about 5 minutes.
  7. Pour in the wine and cook until absorbed into the rice, drink the wine, yes, right out of the bottle.
  8. then begin adding broth a couple of ladles at a time, stirring with each addition, until the rice is cooked, about 20 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.
  9. While the risotto is cooking, get out your cutlass and swashbuckle that acorn squash in half (upright) and scoop out the seeds and hairy shit, then slice off the tips so they sit on a foil lined pan. Pour olive oil all over the inside and bottoms and season with salt and pepper and roast upside down in a 425 degree oven for 20 minutes. Add the peeled garlic to the pan around the acorn squash halves and coat them with oil as well, sprinkle thyme and roast. More wine.
  10. turn squash over and fill with risotto top with goat cheese and roasted garlic
  11. quick fry an egg (I like mine runny of course) and plop it on top.
  12. add sliced tomatoes to still hot egg pan and heat them with some balsamic vinegar and salt… slap them on top too
  13. add some fresh thyme. cause we all need more of that shit….
  14. drink more wine…the good stuff.

You should have beet risotto left after this… use it for ERRYTHANG! Really, its good with pork, chicken, what evs. See below on how to half the squash, take off the tips, and fill it with risotto and goat cheese. Not everyone likes eggs… so I hear. That’s INSANE…but if you don’t want to put an egg on it, its still awesome like this…

Beet Risotto Stuffed Acorn Squash
Beet Risotto Stuffed Acorn Squash
Stuffed Acorn Squash
Stuffed acorn squash

Voila! One for me, and one for the neighbor wench, who would rather her squash be stuffed with mushrooms and spinach on a bed of beet risotto. NO EGG> weird. Bon Apetite ya scurvs! Eat drink and let gays be married!