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Tag Archives: #ketolife

Garlicky Shrimp Alfredo, Cauli Pizza

Garlicky Shrimp Alfredo, Cauli Pizza

The amount of garlic in my blood could probably turn any vampire straight.   I will eat it in the rain, I will eat it on a train, I will eat garlic here or there, I will .… well you get the point.  In my blogs you will see that I like to apply & link all sorts of input that be floating about in my over flowing memory bank… ie: movie quotes, lines of a children’s book, slang terminology, local promoting, tools and tricks, awesome and random information, awkward video clips, music and pop culture references. Please click on the links and HIGHLIGHTED words for the full educational effect of the ride. SO, FYI: The main ingredient in garlic is allicin, which has antibacterial, antivirus, antifungal, and antioxidant properties, and not surprisingly, Garlic is a great food for heart health. It helps blood flow, lowers cholesterol, stops heart disease… aaaand it makes your house smell amazing!! No sarcasm there, I’m working on a garlic scented candle asap!  Until then, I get my fix in many ways… including, but not limited to, Hot Line Pepper Products, Garlicky Greengo.  I know y’all are aware of my support for these sauces, so I wanted to share yet another way to enjoy / apply this one to your pallet. Buttery, garlicky skrimps, low carb alfredo sauce (you can buy it but I included my own recipe for this), fresh basil.. you’re going to flip for this shiz.  Well , I did. So much that I have made this several times… and I am not usually a repeater.  I love pizza, like when my first mate asked me if I loved him more than pizza… I hesitated. So, when I started making cauliflower crust pizzas my life changed forever. I don’t even dig those doughy, dry, flour based bread crusts anymore…bleh… no more hard tack for me! The pirate in me needs seafood pizza, the KETO-er in me needs to stay under 20-30 carbs a day… and the foodie in me needs ALL THE FLAVOR!  You don’t need to be on a diet to enjoy healthy food options, don’t be skeerd.  Here are my instructions: Boycott bland food, take no prisoners, crush this pizza.

In-greed-ients:

Caulipower crust:

  • 1 medium head of cauliflower or 5-6 cups of store bought cauliflower rice
  • 1 egg, large
  • 1 tsp Italian zest seasoning
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 cup Parmesan
  • 1/2 cup Mozzarella cheese, grated
  • Cooking spray
  • Elbow grease 😉

Pizza toppings:

  • 6 -8 uncooked, fresh shrimp (size matters, I like them large, but maybe you don’t).
  • A couple spoons of Garlicky Greengo
  • 1 tbsp KerryGold
  • 1 tbsp EVOO
  • Fresh basil (as much as your heart desires)
  • Fresh cherry or grape tomatoes (about 1/4 of a cup, whole)
  • 1-2 hand fulls of shredded mozzerella

Low carb Alfredo Sauce:

  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 3 oz cream cheese, room temperature
  • 2 oz Parmesan cheese, freshly grated
  • 2 tbsp butter, KerryGold again because JULIA CHILD says you can never have enough butter.
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 pinch pepper
  • 1 pinch freshly ground nutmeg

…..but first… a creepy and informative song & video about garlic.

Alright lets do this. First you must make the crust, which seems a bit tedious, and IS a bit messy, but so worth it.  Don’t let anyone lie to you about cauliflower, it is the glitter of the food world. No matter how careful you are, the “ricing” and squeezing process can get out of control.   Make it rain tiny bits of white stuff…. but be prepared. Tarps work, a shop vac maybe.. lol.

Caulipower Crust: 

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F and line a baking sheet with a silpat, or parchment. Spray it with something oily.
  2. Rinse cauliflower, remove the outer leaves, separate into florets and chop into smaller pieces.  Blitz it in 2-3 batches, until “rice” texture forms. Dump this into a microwave safe bowl and nuke it for 4 min.
  3. Remove cooked cauliflower rice dump it in a double/triple layer of cheese cloth or a linen towel, plop it back in the bowl and let cool for 5 minutes. Then squeeze it like you mean it. Get at least 90% of the liquid out of the ball.  When you think it’s all out, it probably isn’t, keep squeezing.
  4.  Once cooled, In the same bowl, crack the egg with dried herbs, salt and garlic. Add cheese; mix very well with spatula until combined.
  5. Transfer “dough” in the middle and flatten with your hands until thin pizza crust forms. I like it about 1/4 inch thick.
  6. Bake for 20 minutes, carefully flip with 2 spatulas (or the “flip the whole parchment trick” if you are good like that) and bake for a few more minutes. Damn you are messy, clean up while this bakes. 😉

Store: Refrigerate covered for up to 2 days.

Alfredo:

  1. Gently melt the butter and cream cheese together in a small pot over low heat, whisking to combine.
  2. Add 1/4 cup of the heavy cream, turn heat up to medium low, and stir until combined and hot. Add 1/4 of the Parmesan cheese and stir until melted. Alternate adding the heavy cream and Parmesan cheese in the same fashion until all is incorporated.
  3. Separate one egg and beat the yolk until moral improves. When the sauce is hot and bubbling, add the egg yolk while whisking. Turn heat a little lower and continue whisking until the sauce coats the back of a spoon about 1-2 minutes more. Adjust seasonings. Thickens as it cools!
  4. Makes about 1 1/2 cups. Serves 4 at approximately 1/3 cup per serving… and this tasty “American-Italian” sauce has an unlikely history, click the link here  or in the ingredients to learn. 

Skrimps:

  1. In cold water, clean and devein the shrimp poo. NO one wants that….I got the poo on me…..!!! Set aside on a paper towel and dry them babies good.
  2. In a large sauté pan (or a WOK if you have one) on medium-low heat, add enough olive oil to coat and a little guess what… yuuuppp BUTTER. Allow to melt.
  3. Add your shrimp so they are all even on the bottom of the pan. Add that delicious garlicky greengo sauce. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes and flip. They take very little time.

Assembly:

  1. Schmear a few spoonfuls of that silky alfredo sauce onto the caulipower crust.
  2. Top with a hand full of mozzarella cheese 
  3. Lay those luscious shrimp down to sleep
  4. Then slice those adorable tomatoes and stratigically place those between the shrimp.  I get my tomatoes from a local CO-OP called Tomball Family Farm to Kitchen that always gives me the freshest local ingredients and produce in my weekly box. I love to know where my veggies come from.
  5. Chiffonade the fresh basil (also in that Fresh AF CO-OP Box) with your favorite chef knife, my fav is part of a set called  Galaxy knives.   Then just sprinkle sprinkle. 
  6. Bake at 400 for about 5 -7 min.. or until the cheese melts.
  7. Stuff your face hole!! 

As usual, please follow my FB page “The Bomb Noms” for non blogged recipes and information regarding my gourmet foods. If you are like me and you like it saucy, join the best little ALL sauce group on FB.. “Do you even sauce bro?”  Until next time, may your anchor be tight, your cork be loose, your rum be spiced and your compass be true.

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KETO: Fried Guac Deviled Eggs!

KETO: Fried Guac Deviled Eggs!

The devil made me do it!!! JK. But seriously, no matter what religion or spirituality you may believe in, EVERYONE can enjoy a deviled egg. Possessed with mayo or blessed with mustard.. there is NO wrong way to top them.  I’ve been on the #bringbackthedeviledegg band wagon ever since some friends and I realized that they have become less popular as party dishes over the last couple of decades and that most people only enjoy them in the spring.  Deviled eggs in all of their decadence, should be celebrated year round, all colors and shapes, topped with weird stuff or normal stuff.  JUST MAKE SOME and give them to your neighbors, have them because its thursday!  Since Easter is my third favorite food holiday after thanksglutony and Christmasscarfing,  of course I make a big deal of it.  I usually have an Easter crawfish boil with all of the scurvy crew…totally a southern norm…..then I make us some rum and coconut drank in hollowed out pineapple “mugs”, and I ALWAYS make my FRIED GUAC DEVILED EGGS. I love using the Bravado Spice Co jalepeno garlic seasoning and Hot Line Pepper Products “Garlicky Gringo” for my guac …. it turns this recipes flavor profile up to 11!!  This year I decided to make them the KETO way… since most of my crew have joined in my way of life.  For those of you that are not familiar with the “ketogenic diet” or aren’t keen on ketosis, it still tastes flippin awesome, it’s just less carbs and we all know that carbs are the (tastyAF) debil.  You can totally make these the regular “flour, egg, panko” way.. but I suggest you give this a try, sooner rather than later.  Yeah, I know i’m giving my secrets away…. Take what ye can, give a little back… ;P

Ingreeedients:

  • 3 avocados
  • 12 eggs
  • lime juice
  • 1 small bunch cilantro – Chop it like its hot…
  • 1 cup almond meal
  • 1 cup coconut flour
  • 1 bag (or 1 cup once blitzed) Hot & Spicy Chicharrones
  • 1 cup blitzed parmesan cheese
  • tbsp Jalepeno Garlic seasoning
  • 2-3 tbsp Garlicky Greengo
  • salt / cayenne to taste
  • avocado oil or coconut oil for frying – personal preference (non keto use peanut oil)
  • pickled jalepenos for topping / or what ever topping you like, crunchy pork rinds, parmesan crisps, or pickled red cabbage is good too.

 

 

Instructions……

  1. Boil salted water.  place chicken embryos in and bring to a boil… then turn off the heat and let them sit for 14 min. THIS is crucial to the peeling process. Eggs be some finicky bitches. I use two week old eggs for deviling anywho, somehow they are more mature about the whole thing.
  2.   guac21.jpg
  3. While the ladies bathe… make your “breading bowls”.  Mix the flours together in one large flat bowl/ tupperware. Beat 2 eggs in the next bowl / tupperware. Mix the parm and pork rinds in the last one.  Set them side by side in that order next to a paper towel lined cutting board or sheet pan.
  4. Drain & peel eggs immediately (while hot) in cold water / running water in the pot.
  5. Slice eggs in half and dump 8 yolks into a bowl. Toss the rest of the yolks, set whites aside to dry. 
  6. Slice avocados and pray to the old gods and the new, that they are perfect… nothing is as sexy as a ripe one.
  7. Slice your avocado in half
  8. Dump avocados in the yolk bowl add all seasoning, some lime juice, cilantro, the awesome sauce and !Mash it up!   (enjoy song whilst cooking)
  9. Load that shit into a piping bag and fridge it. The lime juice should keep it from browning for a while.  Tits crossed. 
  10. guacamole
  11. Heat your deep fryer (or deep pan with lots of oil) to about 350°F. If you don’t have a cooking thermometer, stick a wooden spoon into the oil when it’s been heating for about 7-8 minutes. If bubbles come up from the depth, your oil is hot enough for deep frying!
  12. Coat each egg half in the “flour” mix, then the egg wash, then the parm & pork rinds mix.  Using one hand for wet and one hand for dry keeps it less ridiculous.  Example: dry hand dredges it with the flour, drops it in the egg, then the wet hand takes out of the egg and the dry hand then puts it in the parm & pork rinds then on to a paper towel lined pan. Instructional video for your viewing pleasure. 
  13. Carefully lower each coated egg half into the deep fryer (or pan) to avoid splashing. It will hurt! I mean…unless you like that sort of pain… then splash away. 😉
  14. Allow each piece to fry  until a light brown. It shouldn’t take long at all.  Take them out and place them on that paper towel lined thing again.
  15. guac3
  16. Finally!! It’s time to lay some pipe! Get that piping bag full of avocado yolk goodness and squeeze away. Make it purty, it will taste better. Top it with what ever you want.. be weird with it.  
  17. Share with friends, they wont last long… so here’s a tip:  A savvy pirate always hides a bit of treasure for themselves. 

deviled eggs

Here’s a weird ass Easter video. Don’t say I never gave you nothin. 

DEVILED EGGS RULE! 

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Craig the Crawfish says…. AAAARRRGGG this be my guac, Do you even sauce bro?!! Well do ya? 

PS>>left over “filling” doubles as a badass chip dip. It ain’t a party until someone brings the guacamole.

 

 

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