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KETO: Fried Guac Deviled Eggs!

KETO: Fried Guac Deviled Eggs!

The devil made me do it!!! JK. But seriously, no matter what religion or spirituality you may believe in, EVERYONE can enjoy a deviled egg. Possessed with mayo or blessed with mustard.. there is NO wrong way to top them.  I’ve been on the #bringbackthedeviledegg band wagon ever since some friends and I realized that they have become less popular as party dishes over the last couple of decades and that most people only enjoy them in the spring.  Deviled eggs in all of their decadence, should be celebrated year round, all colors and shapes, topped with weird stuff or normal stuff.  JUST MAKE SOME and give them to your neighbors, have them because its thursday!  Since Easter is my third favorite food holiday after thanksglutony and Christmasscarfing,  of course I make a big deal of it.  I usually have an Easter crawfish boil with all of the scurvy crew…totally a southern norm…..then I make us some rum and coconut drank in hollowed out pineapple “mugs”, and I ALWAYS make my FRIED GUAC DEVILED EGGS. I love using the Bravado Spice Co jalepeno garlic seasoning and Hot Line Pepper Products “Garlicky Gringo” for my guac …. it turns this recipes flavor profile up to 11!!  This year I decided to make them the KETO way… since most of my crew have joined in my way of life.  For those of you that are not familiar with the “ketogenic diet” or aren’t keen on ketosis, it still tastes flippin awesome, it’s just less carbs and we all know that carbs are the (tastyAF) debil.  You can totally make these the regular “flour, egg, panko” way.. but I suggest you give this a try, sooner rather than later.  Yeah, I know i’m giving my secrets away…. Take what ye can, give a little back… ;P

Ingreeedients:

  • 3 avocados
  • 12 eggs
  • lime juice
  • 1 small bunch cilantro – Chop it like its hot…
  • 1 cup almond meal
  • 1 cup coconut flour
  • 1 bag (or 1 cup once blitzed) Hot & Spicy Chicharrones
  • 1 cup blitzed parmesan cheese
  • tbsp Jalepeno Garlic seasoning
  • 2-3 tbsp Garlicky Greengo
  • salt / cayenne to taste
  • avocado oil or coconut oil for frying – personal preference (non keto use peanut oil)
  • pickled jalepenos for topping / or what ever topping you like, crunchy pork rinds, parmesan crisps, or pickled red cabbage is good too.

 

 

Instructions……

  1. Boil salted water.  place chicken embryos in and bring to a boil… then turn off the heat and let them sit for 14 min. THIS is crucial to the peeling process. Eggs be some finicky bitches. I use two week old eggs for deviling anywho, somehow they are more mature about the whole thing.
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  3. While the ladies bathe… make your “breading bowls”.  Mix the flours together in one large flat bowl/ tupperware. Beat 2 eggs in the next bowl / tupperware. Mix the parm and pork rinds in the last one.  Set them side by side in that order next to a paper towel lined cutting board or sheet pan.
  4. Drain & peel eggs immediately (while hot) in cold water / running water in the pot.
  5. Slice eggs in half and dump 8 yolks into a bowl. Toss the rest of the yolks, set whites aside to dry. 
  6. Slice avocados and pray to the old gods and the new, that they are perfect… nothing is as sexy as a ripe one.
  7. Slice your avocado in half
  8. Dump avocados in the yolk bowl add all seasoning, some lime juice, cilantro, the awesome sauce and !Mash it up!   (enjoy song whilst cooking)
  9. Load that shit into a piping bag and fridge it. The lime juice should keep it from browning for a while.  Tits crossed. 
  10. guacamole
  11. Heat your deep fryer (or deep pan with lots of oil) to about 350°F. If you don’t have a cooking thermometer, stick a wooden spoon into the oil when it’s been heating for about 7-8 minutes. If bubbles come up from the depth, your oil is hot enough for deep frying!
  12. Coat each egg half in the “flour” mix, then the egg wash, then the parm & pork rinds mix.  Using one hand for wet and one hand for dry keeps it less ridiculous.  Example: dry hand dredges it with the flour, drops it in the egg, then the wet hand takes out of the egg and the dry hand then puts it in the parm & pork rinds then on to a paper towel lined pan. Instructional video for your viewing pleasure. 
  13. Carefully lower each coated egg half into the deep fryer (or pan) to avoid splashing. It will hurt! I mean…unless you like that sort of pain… then splash away. 😉
  14. Allow each piece to fry  until a light brown. It shouldn’t take long at all.  Take them out and place them on that paper towel lined thing again.
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  16. Finally!! It’s time to lay some pipe! Get that piping bag full of avocado yolk goodness and squeeze away. Make it purty, it will taste better. Top it with what ever you want.. be weird with it.  
  17. Share with friends, they wont last long… so here’s a tip:  A savvy pirate always hides a bit of treasure for themselves. 

deviled eggs

Here’s a weird ass Easter video. Don’t say I never gave you nothin. 

DEVILED EGGS RULE! 

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Craig the Crawfish says…. AAAARRRGGG this be my guac, Do you even sauce bro?!! Well do ya? 

PS>>left over “filling” doubles as a badass chip dip. It ain’t a party until someone brings the guacamole.

 

 

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EMU EGG SHAKSHUKA

EMU EGG SHAKSHUKA

I am not a traditional wench, as you may have noticed. So when I get an idea to do a “traditional dish” from some other country or region, I’m probably going to twist it up, and do it my way… and this system works for me.  Some people get offended that I don’t follow recipes and I change theirs… but I’m already over this “offended” period of the 2000’s.  Get over it. It’s adventure time! So if you are an adventurous eater / cook.. then you and me should be friends. I am always looking for a new thing to try.. an new hot sauce to use and a new way to do things. This weeks #doyouevensaucebro hot sauce company spotlight is on Voodoo Chile Sauces and their Bhuty Thyme tomato based hot sauce! It tastes like grandmas cookin… if your grandma is a spicy as mine. Speaking of traditional… I LOOOOOVE cast iron especially my passed down LODGE cast iron.  The pirate in me wants to cook everything in a perfectly seasoned IRON pan… dutch oven or skillet. So when I received this deliciously interesting EMU EGG (among many other awesome things shown below) from a local Emu farm (I support buying local when ever possible), I knew I was going to do something with it in my cast iron skillet. There’s something very paleolithic about these ginormous eggs… I fucking lub them.  I had been wanting to make a Shakshuka again for a while… this was it… THANKSGIVING WEEK, the perfect chance to make a dish meant for sharing with others. So I invited the crew over and we grubbed for dinner / neighborsgiving.  So what if it wasn’t for breakfast, I break the rules! You should too.. follow along mates.. here’s the skinny:

 

…….in-greed-ients:

  • 8 oz Chorizo, squish that shit into the LARGE cast iron and fuck it up with a wooden spoon
  • 1Tsp oilve oil
  • 1 small sweet onion, diced
  • 1 small red pepper,  diced – a small jar of roasted red peppers works great too
  • 1 small bulb garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup sherry
  • 1 can diced tomatoes, chopped & not drained (I also used some jarred golden tomatoes from the emu farm and split this part)
  • 1 can drained chickpeas
  • 2 baby bella mushrooms -sliced 
  • 2tsp brown sugar
  • 1tsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp coriander
  • 1 tsp mexican oregano
  • 2 tsp cumin
  • a couple of splashes of hot sauce – I like it hot so mo is betta- BHUTY THYME (clickit)
  • 1 emu egg, but I know yall ain’t gonna get one so… 4 – 6 free-range eggs
  • 1 cup feta.. crumbly, salty and awesome
  • fresh culantro  / also called shado beni, (a stronger cilantro falvor) leaves to garnish 
  • half an avocado for garnish 
  • toasted NAAN is my choice of dipping bread.. but you do what you want.

 

…….. shake that shuka:

  1. Heat a large CAST IRON skillet and fry the chorizo until the oils start releasing and the meat browns. Remove the sausage and put baby in a corner for a bit.
  2. Add the olive oil to the pan of orange oil and gently fry the onion for about 3 minutes until softened. Add the red pepper and garlic & continue to fry for a further 2 or so minutes until they too are softened. Return the chorizo to the pan and briefly fry.
  3. Add the sherry and allow the liquid to (mostly) cook off.
  4. Add the tomatoes w liquid, sugar, chickpeas, shrooms, seasonings, and adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper if your feeling fiesty… Allow this to bubble on a gentle heat for about 20 minutes. This is where you have a shot and a dance break. SSSSHHHAka khan – tell me somethin good!
  5. Now, if you are adventurous and you’ve gotten an emu egg, you will need to dremel it open.. it’s kind of like brain surgery.  Easy peasy, right. Then gently pour the egg into a buttered frying pan & fry your emu egg until the white is almost done, then gently transfer it to the top of the shakshuka to finish poaching in the sauces. My asshole egg yolk popped but.. it’s actually ok because this much runny yolk would have grossed out my neighbors whom I was sharing this with.  Check out my shitty vid of my dremel vs emu egg action. 

     

  6. but.. if you didn’t get an emu egg, just make several indentations in the top of the shakshuka with the back of a ladle and break your eggs into the holes. Mix the egg white around a bit to loosen and spread… and don’t breaking the damned yolk, that’s eggicide and I would just toss the whole damned thing out if the yolks are popped. Just sayin. Here’s my quail egg mini cast iron shakshuka breakfast the next morning…foog
  7. Cook for a further 3 or so minutes and until the egg whites have hardened. If necessary put a lid on your pan to speed up the process.
  8. Scatter plenty of feta over the monstrosity, then the chopped culantro and the lovely avocado.. then scoop it out onto some warm naan, or what ever.  I served mine with a smoked white wine.. but that… is a whole other blog. 🙂 winr

Drink up me hearties…yo ho! 

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…. as you can see, I really love ALL of the Voodoo awesomesauces, even when they are backwards.  IF you think your worthy… Join my FB group: “Do you even sauce bro” and follow me on IG: the_bomb_noms

NOMASTE! 

 

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So Cal Eggs Benedict

So Cal Eggs Benedict

IIII’mmmmm Baaaaack, from a blogging hiatus with a rad brunch dish to share!  Everyone loves a classic Eggs Benedict… but there be no limits when it comes to MY cooking, so I put a SO Cal spin on this one. I recently received a box of awesomesauce from So Cal Hot sauce  and I don’t think I’ve ever reeeally thought about hot sauces categorized by region before.  Sure there are different levels of heat,  salt, texture, sweetness… you can use scorpions, ghosts, reapers, serranos…. you can separate them by season, color, consistency……there is an endless plethora of categories. BUT this sauce definitely tastes like Southern Cali to me so it immediately pleases the Captain that they are true to their name, beit that their slogan is “California inspired, Carolina grown”.  The first one that I played with is the “So Cal Guac Sauce – Hot Avocado.  Y’all know how I feel about avocados…. they are a staple, a necessity, a vitamin and a part of my balanced breakfast and sexy as fuuuuck. The avocado flavor and the consistency of this sauce was too legit so I had to use it IN a sauce… I do love to sauce bro.  Since I enjoy the challenge of making better choices (most of the time)and the healthy hippies in cali love cauliflower…  I opted to make some crispy, slightly cheesy, dill cauliflower waffles instead of the all p0wer full evil BREAD! Mmmmm…bread… any who, If you switch up this recipe up, have fun, do what you wanna.  By all means I’m not the boss of you, BUT, don’t leave out the cauliflower waffle or the “guac sauce” and expect it to be as magical and amazing as mine.  Just sayin.  #brunchlikeyoumeanit

 

……. in-greed-ients:

  • 3/4 cup frozen cauliflower crumbles (thawed and drained)
  • 1 cup low fat Mozzarella cheese, shredded
  • 4 large sprigs dill – chopped
  • 1 large egg, beaten until moral improves
  • 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon pink Himalayan sea salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper (or more cause its awesome)
  • 4 large eggs, drained (I will explain)
  • 4 slices Canadian Bacon eh?
  • 2-3 cups arugula
  • coconut oil for sauteeing 

…… in- the-blender:

…… cookin time:

  1. Get out that dusty old Belgian Waffle Maker if ya got it, and heat to a medium setting. IF not, fuck it, any ol’ waffle maker will do.
  2. In a medium bowl, combine 3/4 cup cauliflower crumbles, 1 cup shredded Mozzarella cheese, chopped dill, 1 beaten in to shape egg, garlic powder, onion powder,salt, freshly cracked black pepper. Mix that shit. SIDE NOTE: I grate fresh cauliflower using my food processor and store the cauliflower crumbles in the freezer. BUT you can just get some frozen cauliflower crumbles. If you use freshly grated cauliflower, add an egg white.

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    Cauliflower cheese dill mix

  3. Spray the waffle iron and slop that cauliflower mixture EVENLY onto the waffle iron. Close lid and flip over. Cook till brown like a chocolate starfish… that’s when ya know it’s done. 

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    Cauliflower waffle

  4. DO YOU even sauce bro?  Well ya do now, put the hollandaise stuff in the blender… blend till awesome. Dip your finger in for a taste… tasty as fuck right?!MMMMM! This “guac sauce”  has about 5 calories per serving (tsp) and a medium range of sodium @ 105 mg. The “heat”  is mid range with serranos and habaneros balanced with tomatillos and avocado.  It’s puurrrfecct for a golden creamy hollandaise. 

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    So Cal Guac Hollandaise

  5. Now make some perfectly poached eggs.  Lay a paper towel out to lay the eggs on, fill your favorite pot about 2-3 inches deep. While waiting for the water to boil, drain the eggs by cracking them into  a fine mesh strainer and allow the watery part of the whites to drain out into a bowl.  The thin part of the egg is not necessary and causes bullshit when trying to poach the eggs. Homey don’t play that. 

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    Straining the ovos

  6. Slip that drained egg into the GENTLY boiling water…poach one a time. DO NOT SWIRL the water. Because we removed that bullshit part of the egg white there is no need to waste your time swirling the water. Poach for 3 minutes. When it’s ready, use a slotted spoon to gently transfer the eggs to the paper towel plate. Don’t fuck it up!
  7. While the eggs are poaching, quick sear that  Canadian Bacon in a small cast iron skillet. Mmmm bacon. 

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    meeeaattt

  8. Remove them pig discs and toss in the greens.. use a little coconut oil and seasoning of your choice (I use FlavorGod Dynamite Seasoning) for a quick sautee “roll in the hay” and remove before that shit gets gross.
  9. To assemble: Put 1/4 of the cauliflower waffle on a plate, then a spoon of sauteed arugula, topped with that juicy yankee bacon & then 1 poached egg. Now you can drench that shit with guac hollandaise sauce. Garnish with chopped parsley or scallions or what ever you want…it’s all about to be devoured soon anyway.  Make sure you enjoy cutting into that sexy runny yolk, sop it up with that delish cauliflower triangle…now stuff your face hole! 

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    Before the sauceing

 

Yield: 4 Servings
Prep Time: 15 mins.
Cook time: 10 mins.
Total time: 25 mins

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                                                                    Drink up me hearties yo ho!

 

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