A pirates life for me!, Appetizers that don't suck, Brunch like you mean it, Crew Favorites, Do you even sauce bro, Uncategorized

Garlicky Shrimp Alfredo, Cauli Pizza

The amount of garlic in my blood could probably turn any vampire straight.   I will eat it in the rain, I will eat it on a train, I will eat garlic here or there, I will .… well you get the point.  In my blogs you will see that I like to apply & link all sorts of input that be floating about in my over flowing memory bank… ie: movie quotes, lines of a children’s book, slang terminology, local promoting, tools and tricks, awesome and random information, awkward video clips, music and pop culture references. Please click on the links and HIGHLIGHTED words for the full educational effect of the ride. SO, FYI: The main ingredient in garlic is allicin, which has antibacterial, antivirus, antifungal, and antioxidant properties, and not surprisingly, Garlic is a great food for heart health. It helps blood flow, lowers cholesterol, stops heart disease… aaaand it makes your house smell amazing!! No sarcasm there, I’m working on a garlic scented candle asap!  Until then, I get my fix in many ways… including, but not limited to, Hot Line Pepper Products, Garlicky Greengo.  I know y’all are aware of my support for these sauces, so I wanted to share yet another way to enjoy / apply this one to your pallet. Buttery, garlicky skrimps, low carb alfredo sauce (you can buy it but I included my own recipe for this), fresh basil.. you’re going to flip for this shiz.  Well , I did. So much that I have made this several times… and I am not usually a repeater.  I love pizza, like when my first mate asked me if I loved him more than pizza… I hesitated. So, when I started making cauliflower crust pizzas my life changed forever. I don’t even dig those doughy, dry, flour based bread crusts anymore…bleh… no more hard tack for me! The pirate in me needs seafood pizza, the KETO-er in me needs to stay under 20-30 carbs a day… and the foodie in me needs ALL THE FLAVOR!  You don’t need to be on a diet to enjoy healthy food options, don’t be skeerd.  Here are my instructions: Boycott bland food, take no prisoners, crush this pizza.

In-greed-ients:

Caulipower crust:

  • 1 medium head of cauliflower or 5-6 cups of store bought cauliflower rice
  • 1 egg, large
  • 1 tsp Italian zest seasoning
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp pepper
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 cup Parmesan
  • 1/2 cup Mozzarella cheese, grated
  • Cooking spray
  • Elbow grease 😉

Pizza toppings:

  • 6 -8 uncooked, fresh shrimp (size matters, I like them large, but maybe you don’t).
  • A couple spoons of Garlicky Greengo
  • 1 tbsp KerryGold
  • 1 tbsp EVOO
  • Fresh basil (as much as your heart desires)
  • Fresh cherry or grape tomatoes (about 1/4 of a cup, whole)
  • 1-2 hand fulls of shredded mozzerella

Low carb Alfredo Sauce:

  • 1 cup heavy cream
  • 3 oz cream cheese, room temperature
  • 2 oz Parmesan cheese, freshly grated
  • 2 tbsp butter, KerryGold again because JULIA CHILD says you can never have enough butter.
  • 1 large egg yolk
  • 1 pinch pepper
  • 1 pinch freshly ground nutmeg

…..but first… a creepy and informative song & video about garlic.

Alright lets do this. First you must make the crust, which seems a bit tedious, and IS a bit messy, but so worth it.  Don’t let anyone lie to you about cauliflower, it is the glitter of the food world. No matter how careful you are, the “ricing” and squeezing process can get out of control.   Make it rain tiny bits of white stuff…. but be prepared. Tarps work, a shop vac maybe.. lol.

Caulipower Crust: 

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees F and line a baking sheet with a silpat, or parchment. Spray it with something oily.
  2. Rinse cauliflower, remove the outer leaves, separate into florets and chop into smaller pieces.  Blitz it in 2-3 batches, until “rice” texture forms. Dump this into a microwave safe bowl and nuke it for 4 min.
  3. Remove cooked cauliflower rice dump it in a double/triple layer of cheese cloth or a linen towel, plop it back in the bowl and let cool for 5 minutes. Then squeeze it like you mean it. Get at least 90% of the liquid out of the ball.  When you think it’s all out, it probably isn’t, keep squeezing.
  4.  Once cooled, In the same bowl, crack the egg with dried herbs, salt and garlic. Add cheese; mix very well with spatula until combined.
  5. Transfer “dough” in the middle and flatten with your hands until thin pizza crust forms. I like it about 1/4 inch thick.
  6. Bake for 20 minutes, carefully flip with 2 spatulas (or the “flip the whole parchment trick” if you are good like that) and bake for a few more minutes. Damn you are messy, clean up while this bakes. 😉

Store: Refrigerate covered for up to 2 days.

Alfredo:

  1. Gently melt the butter and cream cheese together in a small pot over low heat, whisking to combine.
  2. Add 1/4 cup of the heavy cream, turn heat up to medium low, and stir until combined and hot. Add 1/4 of the Parmesan cheese and stir until melted. Alternate adding the heavy cream and Parmesan cheese in the same fashion until all is incorporated.
  3. Separate one egg and beat the yolk until moral improves. When the sauce is hot and bubbling, add the egg yolk while whisking. Turn heat a little lower and continue whisking until the sauce coats the back of a spoon about 1-2 minutes more. Adjust seasonings. Thickens as it cools!
  4. Makes about 1 1/2 cups. Serves 4 at approximately 1/3 cup per serving… and this tasty “American-Italian” sauce has an unlikely history, click the link here  or in the ingredients to learn. 

Skrimps:

  1. In cold water, clean and devein the shrimp poo. NO one wants that….I got the poo on me…..!!! Set aside on a paper towel and dry them babies good.
  2. In a large sauté pan (or a WOK if you have one) on medium-low heat, add enough olive oil to coat and a little guess what… yuuuppp BUTTER. Allow to melt.
  3. Add your shrimp so they are all even on the bottom of the pan. Add that delicious garlicky greengo sauce. Cook for 1 to 2 minutes and flip. They take very little time.

Assembly:

  1. Schmear a few spoonfuls of that silky alfredo sauce onto the caulipower crust.
  2. Top with a hand full of mozzarella cheese 
  3. Lay those luscious shrimp down to sleep
  4. Then slice those adorable tomatoes and stratigically place those between the shrimp.  I get my tomatoes from a local CO-OP called Tomball Family Farm to Kitchen that always gives me the freshest local ingredients and produce in my weekly box. I love to know where my veggies come from.
  5. Chiffonade the fresh basil (also in that Fresh AF CO-OP Box) with your favorite chef knife, my fav is part of a set called  Galaxy knives.   Then just sprinkle sprinkle. 
  6. Bake at 400 for about 5 -7 min.. or until the cheese melts.
  7. Stuff your face hole!! 

As usual, please follow my FB page “The Bomb Noms” for non blogged recipes and information regarding my gourmet foods. If you are like me and you like it saucy, join the best little ALL sauce group on FB.. “Do you even sauce bro?”  Until next time, may your anchor be tight, your cork be loose, your rum be spiced and your compass be true.

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A pirates life for me!, Brunch like you mean it, Cast Iron love, Crew Favorites, Dirty Pirate Hooker Meals, Do you even sauce bro, Egg zachary, Holiday Celebrate, pirates, Uncategorized

EMU EGG SHAKSHUKA

I am not a traditional wench, as you may have noticed. So when I get an idea to do a “traditional dish” from some other country or region, I’m probably going to twist it up, and do it my way… and this system works for me.  Some people get offended that I don’t follow recipes and I change theirs… but I’m already over this “offended” period of the 2000’s.  Get over it. It’s adventure time! So if you are an adventurous eater / cook.. then you and me should be friends. I am always looking for a new thing to try.. an new hot sauce to use and a new way to do things. This weeks #doyouevensaucebro hot sauce company spotlight is on Voodoo Chile Sauces and their Bhuty Thyme tomato based hot sauce! It tastes like grandmas cookin… if your grandma is a spicy as mine. Speaking of traditional… I LOOOOOVE cast iron especially my passed down LODGE cast iron.  The pirate in me wants to cook everything in a perfectly seasoned IRON pan… dutch oven or skillet. So when I received this deliciously interesting EMU EGG (among many other awesome things shown below) from a local Emu farm (I support buying local when ever possible), I knew I was going to do something with it in my cast iron skillet. There’s something very paleolithic about these ginormous eggs… I fucking lub them.  I had been wanting to make a Shakshuka again for a while… this was it… THANKSGIVING WEEK, the perfect chance to make a dish meant for sharing with others. So I invited the crew over and we grubbed for dinner / neighborsgiving.  So what if it wasn’t for breakfast, I break the rules! You should too.. follow along mates.. here’s the skinny:

 

…….in-greed-ients:

  • 8 oz Chorizo, squish that shit into the LARGE cast iron and fuck it up with a wooden spoon
  • 1Tsp oilve oil
  • 1 small sweet onion, diced
  • 1 small red pepper,  diced – a small jar of roasted red peppers works great too
  • 1 small bulb garlic, minced
  • 1/4 cup sherry
  • 1 can diced tomatoes, chopped & not drained (I also used some jarred golden tomatoes from the emu farm and split this part)
  • 1 can drained chickpeas
  • 2 baby bella mushrooms -sliced 
  • 2tsp brown sugar
  • 1tsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp coriander
  • 1 tsp mexican oregano
  • 2 tsp cumin
  • a couple of splashes of hot sauce – I like it hot so mo is betta- BHUTY THYME (clickit)
  • 1 emu egg, but I know yall ain’t gonna get one so… 4 – 6 free-range eggs
  • 1 cup feta.. crumbly, salty and awesome
  • fresh culantro  / also called shado beni, (a stronger cilantro falvor) leaves to garnish 
  • half an avocado for garnish 
  • toasted NAAN is my choice of dipping bread.. but you do what you want.

 

…….. shake that shuka:

  1. Heat a large CAST IRON skillet and fry the chorizo until the oils start releasing and the meat browns. Remove the sausage and put baby in a corner for a bit.
  2. Add the olive oil to the pan of orange oil and gently fry the onion for about 3 minutes until softened. Add the red pepper and garlic & continue to fry for a further 2 or so minutes until they too are softened. Return the chorizo to the pan and briefly fry.
  3. Add the sherry and allow the liquid to (mostly) cook off.
  4. Add the tomatoes w liquid, sugar, chickpeas, shrooms, seasonings, and adjust the seasoning with salt and pepper if your feeling fiesty… Allow this to bubble on a gentle heat for about 20 minutes. This is where you have a shot and a dance break. SSSSHHHAka khan – tell me somethin good!
  5. Now, if you are adventurous and you’ve gotten an emu egg, you will need to dremel it open.. it’s kind of like brain surgery.  Easy peasy, right. Then gently pour the egg into a buttered frying pan & fry your emu egg until the white is almost done, then gently transfer it to the top of the shakshuka to finish poaching in the sauces. My asshole egg yolk popped but.. it’s actually ok because this much runny yolk would have grossed out my neighbors whom I was sharing this with.  Check out my shitty vid of my dremel vs emu egg action. 

     

  6. but.. if you didn’t get an emu egg, just make several indentations in the top of the shakshuka with the back of a ladle and break your eggs into the holes. Mix the egg white around a bit to loosen and spread… and don’t breaking the damned yolk, that’s eggicide and I would just toss the whole damned thing out if the yolks are popped. Just sayin. Here’s my quail egg mini cast iron shakshuka breakfast the next morning…foog
  7. Cook for a further 3 or so minutes and until the egg whites have hardened. If necessary put a lid on your pan to speed up the process.
  8. Scatter plenty of feta over the monstrosity, then the chopped culantro and the lovely avocado.. then scoop it out onto some warm naan, or what ever.  I served mine with a smoked white wine.. but that… is a whole other blog. 🙂 winr

Drink up me hearties…yo ho! 

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…. as you can see, I really love ALL of the Voodoo awesomesauces, even when they are backwards.  IF you think your worthy… Join my FB group: “Do you even sauce bro” and follow me on IG: the_bomb_noms

NOMASTE!