Category: Party People

A pirates life for me!, Brunch like you mean it, Crew Favorites, Egg zachary, Holiday Celebrate, Party People, Southern as fuck, Uncategorized

KETO: Fried Guac Deviled Eggs!

Cassandra D'Kay

The devil made me do it!!! JK. But seriously, no matter what religion or spirituality you may believe in, EVERYONE can enjoy a deviled egg. Possessed with mayo or blessed with mustard.. there is NO wrong way to top them.  I’ve been on the #bringbackthedeviledegg band wagon ever since some friends and I realized that they have become less popular as party dishes over the last couple of decades and that most people only enjoy them in the spring.  Deviled eggs in all of their decadence, should be celebrated year round, all colors and shapes, topped with weird stuff or normal stuff.  JUST MAKE SOME and give them to your neighbors, have them because its thursday!  Since Easter is my third favorite food holiday after thanksglutony and Christmasscarfing,  of course I make a big deal of it.  I usually have an Easter crawfish boil with all of the scurvy crew…totally a southern norm…..then I make us some rum and coconut drank in hollowed out pineapple “mugs”, and I ALWAYS make my FRIED GUAC DEVILED EGGS. I love using the Bravado Spice Co jalepeno garlic seasoning and Hot Line Pepper Products “Garlicky Gringo” for my guac …. it turns this recipes flavor profile up to 11!!  This year I decided to make them the KETO way… since most of my crew have joined in my way of life.  For those of you that are not familiar with the “ketogenic diet” or aren’t keen on ketosis, it still tastes flippin awesome, it’s just less carbs and we all know that carbs are the (tastyAF) debil.  You can totally make these the regular “flour, egg, panko” way.. but I suggest you give this a try, sooner rather than later.  Yeah, I know i’m giving my secrets away…. Take what ye can, give a little back… ;P

Ingreeedients:

  • 3 avocados
  • 12 eggs
  • lime juice
  • 1 small bunch cilantro – Chop it like its hot…
  • 1 cup almond meal
  • 1 cup coconut flour
  • 1 bag (or 1 cup once blitzed) Hot & Spicy Chicharrones
  • 1 cup blitzed parmesan cheese
  • 1 tbsp Jalepeno Garlic seasoning
  • 2-3 tbsp Garlicky Greengo
  • salt / cayenne to taste
  • avocado oil or coconut oil for frying – personal preference (non keto use peanut oil)
  • pickled jalepenos for topping / or what ever topping you like, crunchy pork rinds, parmesan crisps, or pickled red cabbage is good too.

 

 

Instructions……

  1. Boil salted water.  place chicken embryos in and bring to a boil… then turn off the heat and let them sit for 14 min. THIS is crucial to the peeling process. Eggs be some finicky bitches. I use two week old eggs for deviling anywho, somehow they are more mature about the whole thing.
  2.   guac21.jpg
  3. While the ladies bathe… make your “breading bowls”.  Mix the flours together in one large flat bowl/ tupperware. Beat 2 eggs in the next bowl / tupperware. Mix the parm and pork rinds in the last one.  Set them side by side in that order next to a paper towel lined cutting board or sheet pan.
  4. Drain & peel eggs immediately (while hot) in cold water / running water in the pot.
  5. Slice eggs in half and dump 8 yolks into a bowl. Toss the rest of the yolks, set whites aside to dry. 
  6. Slice avocados and pray to the old gods and the new, that they are perfect… nothing is as sexy as a ripe one.
  7. Slice your avocado in half
  8. Dump avocados in the yolk bowl add all seasoning, some lime juice, cilantro, the awesome sauce and !Mash it up!   (enjoy song whilst cooking)
  9. Load that shit into a piping bag and fridge it. The lime juice should keep it from browning for a while.  Tits crossed. 
  10. guacamole
  11. Heat your deep fryer (or deep pan with lots of oil) to about 350°F. If you don’t have a cooking thermometer, stick a wooden spoon into the oil when it’s been heating for about 7-8 minutes. If bubbles come up from the depth, your oil is hot enough for deep frying!
  12. Coat each egg half in the “flour” mix, then the egg wash, then the parm & pork rinds mix.  Using one hand for wet and one hand for dry keeps it less ridiculous.  Example: dry hand dredges it with the flour, drops it in the egg, then the wet hand takes out of the egg and the dry hand then puts it in the parm & pork rinds then on to a paper towel lined pan. Instructional video for your viewing pleasure. 
  13. Carefully lower each coated egg half into the deep fryer (or pan) to avoid splashing. It will hurt! I mean…unless you like that sort of pain… then splash away. 😉
  14. Allow each piece to fry  until a light brown. It shouldn’t take long at all.  Take them out and place them on that paper towel lined thing again.
  15. guac3
  16. Finally!! It’s time to lay some pipe! Get that piping bag full of avocado yolk goodness and squeeze away. Make it purty, it will taste better. Top it with what ever you want.. be weird with it.  
  17. Share with friends, they wont last long… so here’s a tip:  A savvy pirate always hides a bit of treasure for themselves. 

deviled eggs

Here’s a weird ass Easter video. Don’t say I never gave you nothin. 

DEVILED EGGS RULE! 

crawfish1.jpg

Craig the Crawfish says…. AAAARRRGGG this be my guac, Do you even sauce bro?!! Well do ya? 

PS>>left over “filling” doubles as a badass chip dip. It ain’t a party until someone brings the guacamole.

 

Appetizers that don't suck, Crew Favorites, Imaginary food truck item, Party People, Stuffing stuff in stuff

Cuban Eggrolls!

Cassandra D'Kay

National FOOD TRUCK day was spent at home this year….we are preparing for our annual Halloween extravaganza and thusly are too poor to go downtown just for food. I still needed some food truck in my life. So, I prepared one of the items that I would sell from my imaginary food truck. CUBANO EGGROLLS fool! I mean, obvs i’m big into “fusion” foods.. and obvs i’m creative AF…..but I am also super into promoting local. (In case you didn’t already know).  I purchased this cannon-balls relish called  Dillapeno (<<buy it here <<) relish from the Smithers Family at the  Houston Hot Sauce Festival I attend every year.  If you love pickles.. as I do… PLEASE try this shiz. I used it in place of pickle slices in my cubans. I made waaay to many but luckily I have a large hungry crew of friends who randomly sail by to graze grub…. otherwise I would be way larger and way in charger.  On my food truck, I would make these dericious cuban wraps becasue they are totally finger food and totally a “quickie” item. I wrap so tight… you should too.       

………in-greed-ients:

  • 1 pack of eggroll wraps
  • 1/4 lb swiss cheese slices
  • 1/2 lb of roasted pork slices
  • 1/2 lb of sliced ham…preferably smoked somehow.
  • a thing of spicy / sweet dijon mustard
  • some dill jalepeno relish
  • garlic powder, salt & pepper
  • egg wash
  • stuff for frying.. ie: pan, oil, fire.

…….Cuban magic:

  1. lay an eggroll wrap on a cutting board
  2. throw down the ham
  3. throw down the pork
  4. slap it with a half slice of cheese
  5. spoon out some relish
  6. squirt out some ‘tard
  7. season
  8. roll…..just roll along…..just roll along….
  9. egg wash to seal
  10. fry that shit.

This halloween, the first mate is going to be a zombie Ricky Ricardo and I am going to be a Zombie Lucy so we need to practice our cuban dancing….. so here:

A pirates life for me!, Captain sweet tooth, Holiday Celebrate, Party People, pirates, Southern as fuck

INDEPENDENCE JELL-O-SHOTS!

Cassandra D'Kay

YAY FOR AMERICA! The fourth of July is always a great reminder of how lucky we all are to be free from tyranny! Free to be pirates if we want to, or to eat meat and drink beer and blow shit up! ‘Murica, the land of the free and home of the Jell-O-shot. There is a long and interesting history of pirates and privateers fleeing the waters of the British Empire to be free and trade (or steal) where ever they pleased. There is hidden treasure and buried loot every where along the eastern shores and islands. I made some of my very own treasure this Independence day, and although red white and blue were the 13 colonies colors, anyone can claim them. The American flag stands for freedom and I’m all about that.. that and rum. I’m all about that too. See my patriotism below: I made 160 but I think 90 would do just fine for a righteous pirate party. This takes time so start early… like the afternoon before you need them.

…….in-greed-ients:

  • 2 3 oz package of blue jello
  • 2 3 oz package of cherry jello
  • 4 packets of knox gelatin
  • 1 cup coconut milk
  • 1 can sweetened condensed milk
  • 2 cups cherry rum
  • 2 cups whipped cream rum
  • 2 cups coconut rum (I chose the captain morgan brand…of course)
  • about 90 jello shot cups.

………Jell-O magic:

  1. first, set up the cups on trays of some kind so you can transport them to a fridge
  2. get fridge ready – make some space for these suckers cause they are gonna need it
  3. in a pot boil 2 cups water
  4. add cherry jello, let it dissolve, add 2 cups cherry rum
  5. allow it to cool and pour a layer into the cups- try not to spill that shit everywhere… good luck with that.
  6. carry them to the fridge ….carefully.
  7. while they are setting (the package says 4 hours but they could be ready in 2-3 hours) have a party.. drink some shots.. what ever. IMG_0314
  8. continue this routine with the white but use the condensed milk and coconut milk instead of water to boil. Remove Add knox and stir until dissolved… then remove from heat, add coconut rum. Let it cool,
  9. and pour it into cups carefully not to disturb the red layer. Use a spoon to be safe.
  10. put the trays in the fridge again for several hours. Have some more shots! At this point we let the kids practice bartending for us. IMG_0591
  11. Now boil the 2 cups of water for the blue
  12. remove from heat and add blue jello, dissolve, add whipped cream rum, cool,
  13. go get the trays out and use a spoon to pour.
  14. fridge.
  15. drink some shots

Tomorrow the shots should be ready for lids and transport. They should stay firm whilst sitting out for a long time. I like to stack them for a more patriotic effect.

Arrrrrrhmerica! Fuckyeah!

 

A pirates life for me!, Party People, Put it in your mouth, Snack like you mean it, Stuffing stuff in stuff

GOING HAM ROLLS!

Cassandra D'Kay

This fourth of July I made several things (I will post next). One of which was my “goin HAM rolls”. These rolls aren’t magic but they are pretty damned tasty… enough to be requested every year. I scoured the internet for a recipe just like it but apparently it’s pretty original. Everyone makes these with just pickles and cream cheese or rolled in tortilla to make pinwheels…ok. What ever floats your schooner.  I usually alter my recipes over time…this one is from my late momma and I don’t have to change it at all.  Mother effing Perfection rolled up and swallowed.  The key to a great “party appetizer” is simple first, then tasty… don’t try to be too fancy when it just needs to be a counter top finger food item.  From the Master at Arms down to the powder monkeys and swabbers alike, they will ALL have their dirty nose pickers all over these sons a bitches. So get out the biggest cutting board you’ve got in the scullery and go crazy! AAAAAaahhhhhhh!

IMG_0840

…….in-greed-ients:

  • 2 packs of rectangle ham. Comes with about 20 or so pieces of ham.
  • 2 packs of 8 0z cream cheese -the softer the better
  • 1 yellow bell sliced long ways very thin
  • 2-3 roma tomatoes sliced in long strips
  • 2 giant dill pickles – sliced thin strips but slice out soft seedy middles and eat them now.. you probably need a snack… and no one likes soggy pickle spears in their ham rolls.
  • several slices of red onion – use the outside long pieces not the small round center pieces
  • 7-9 pieces of pre cooked bacon (I like the spicy jalepeno bacon for this)
  • 5-6 slices of sharp cheddar cheese -sliced in 1/4 inch thin strips
  • flavorgod, spicy everything seasoning –Spicy Everything
  • Himalayan salt & cracked pepper
  • garlic powder

……. ROLL magic:

  1. cut everything to fit the size of the ham rolls, nothing should stick out on the sides.
  2. lay out them slices of ham all over the board
  3. take about a whole finger sized chunk of cream cheese and slap it on one side of the ham slice, continue this for all slices.. put cream cheese finger on the same side on all.
  4. use a butter knife to spread the cream cheese across the ham… not the entire slice should be covered…just leave a half inch not slathered.
  5. place a piece of bacon on the blank spaces
  6. place a slice of bell
  7. slice of pickle
  8. slice of onion
  9. slice of tomato
  10. slice of thin cheese
  11. sprinkle all with seasonings
  12. start roll with food side and roll towards thick cream cheese side. The cream cheese will be like glue.
  13. eat the rest of the stuffs… my favorite part.

AVAST YE! You’ve done it. Now try not to eat them all before the party. Here is some wacky ass shit. Watch it….and GO HAM!

Brunch like you mean it, Party People, Southern as fuck, Special guest spotlight

Fried Chicken & Waffles!

Cassandra D'Kay

Oh my sweet baby sea god posideon! We brunch like we mean it in my family. So it was just fathers day and we had a great time showing the fathers how important their years of beatings were, because our morale eventually improved! Thanks dads. You truly whipped us into shape. We lub you.

thWB67MGFR

IMG_4775

My sister wench gets a SPECIAL GUEST SPOTLIGHT this week. She is amazing in the kitchen and aspires to be a personal chef some day so…. 3 cheers for “Captain Blaire” my sister wench for the incrediballs brunch she prepared for our fathers day feasting pleasure.  Hip hip Huzzah! 

She prepared bacon, parmesan, peppercorn Belgian waffles with a scallion garlic butter, and a chipotle maple syrup.  Strat-daddy fried up his famous fried chicken wings… nothing schmancy about it. Fried chicken needs no frills….it’s that damned good. I took the left over waffles home and Broseph took home the left over meat.  That’s how we do it. Why were there any left overs you ask? Well, we, as a family, tend to make waaaaay too much food. It works out well for the left over department. The minion loves the waffles.

…..in-greed-ients:

  • 3  large eggs
  • 1 3/4 Cup  all-purpose flour
  • 1 Tbl.  baking powder
  • 1 1/2 Tsp.  salt
  • 3 Oz.  shredded parmesan cheese (3/4 cup)
  • 1 Tbl.  fresh cracked black pepper
  • 1 schtick of butta – melted
  • garlic butter
  • chopped scallions
  • 1/4 lb of bacon
  • chipotle mayple syrup (can make your own with some canned chipotles in oil and Canadian mayple syrup)
  • electric mixer
  • badass waffle iron – Suggestions: http://amzn.com/B00ITPJ0HM

…… waffle magic:

  1. cook bacon, remove from pan, and swashbuckle that shit. chop chop chop it like its hot.
  2. beat eggs on medium speed 3 minutes or until very pale and foamy.
  3. Sift flour, baking powder and salt into medium bowl
  4. whisk in cheese and pepper until combined
  5. Whisk milk and butter into flour mixture, whisking just until combined; do not overmix (batter will be lumpy).
  6. With wooden spoon, fold in eggs.
  7. ladle a heaping ladle full of batter into waffle iron (just enough to cover surface of waffle iron). sprinkle with bacon!!!!
  8. Cook waffles until golden brown and steam is no longer escaping from iron. Hot dayum, you did it.
  9. while those are cooking, mix chopped scallions in garlic butter
  10. now slather that baby with scallion garlic butter and bacon crumbles and douse it with chipotle maple syrup!
  11. mouthgasm
Chicken & Waffles
Chicken & Waffles

Happy fathers day to the keeper of the codes!