RSS

Category Archives: Mealprep Mondays

MEAL PREP MONDAYS!

MEAL PREP MONDAYS!

When I get the pleasure of eating something amazeballs you not only get dinner, with me you also get a show.  I am a eat dancer. I can’t help but wiggle and giggle and moan and sing and make derpy faces.  I’m usually bouncing on the booth more than my minion when we go out. I can’t help it. I loooove good food. That does NOT mean that healthy and simple pleases me any less.  All I ever really want is to try everything once.. and also I really want to share my (forcibly if necessary via social networking) findings of how simple it is to eat clean and healthy and to cook that way also. I am occasionally made aware of how annoying it is (for others) to see my constant posts on instagram, facebook, snapchat…ect… regarding my “Mealprep Monday” low calorie, low sodium, high protein weekly meal prepping…but I don’t give a flying fat fuck. I have been trying so hard for at least 3 or 4 years to keep up some kind of healthy weekly eating habits because on most weekends I am a hedonistic, gluttonous food whore. Thusly, my sexy, plump, bod can’t afford to eat like shit during the week.  I am duly trying to inspire others to try new shit, because i’m helpful as fuck. So stop being a lazy askhole (someone who asks for meal prep advice & googles healthy new ideas but never actually does it) and start cooking for yourself and your humans every day. Buy that weird ass fruit, or funky looking veggie, try that spice, and use that immersion blender thingy behind all the pots.  You might find out something about yourself that you didn’t already know. If you have no time, pick one day and make that your meal prep day. If you already do this.. Huzzah to you!  I know I am not alone… just seems that way with all of my evil, fast food eating,  land lubber friends that tempt me….(whom I lub). Aye, I eat at sonic a couple times a year.. when I’m drunk, tater tots are my kryptonite. Aye, spur of the moment queso and margaritas with the wenches, are a gals best friend… but otherwise am a very routine captain and I feel that if you don’t prepare for success you are just preparing for failure… and goonies never say die!

I like to keep it simple for meal prep and then get all fancy and shit for dinner because as i’m sure your thinking it too….

We usually do well with keeping the hunger kraken away when I prepare snacks and lunches only, I can’t meal prep dinners when I am a self proclaimed home cook, I need to experiment and play.  So our routine is a protein shake with spinach and nanas for breakfast, a snack of chicken salad with greek yogurt, lunch, and 2nd snack of raw fruit and veggies, then what ever the fuck my cray dinner plans are. Here is one of my “goto” weekly lunches. It’s my favorite because it’s super healthy and not boring or gross or weird. Even my neighbor that hates brussel sprouts likes this one. Lets do this…

…….in-greed-ients:

  • boneless skinless chicken breasts either 5 or 10 depending on your tax filing status.
  • EVOO
  • a lemon
  • turmeric
  • Flavorgods –Lemon garlic seasoning
  • thyme
  • baby bell peppers – they come in a bag usually – lots of them… sliced into rounds
  • brussel sprouts, like 2 bags of them, shredded, whole, halved.. .whatevs
  • balsamic vinegrette
  • chipotle mustard
  • chili paste – optional of course
  • minced garlic
  • EVOO
  • blackened seasoning
  • quinoa – 1 cup
  • low sodium chicken broth – 2 cups
  • 1 can drained chick peas / garbanzo beans
  • 1/2 can drained low sodium black beans
  • 1/2 can drained golden hominy
  • 1/2 cup pico (tomato, white onion, cilantro, jalepenos in lime juice.. usually find premade stuff and use that)
  • fresh cilantro
  • cumin & onion powder 
  • lime juice
  • EVOO

…….the mealprep magic:

  1. coat thawed poultry boosoms with EVOO, seasonings and top with a lemon slice and juice.
  2. bake chicken on a foil lined pan per instructions.. usually about 400 for 15-25 min depending on thicknessIMG_0553
  3. toss brussels with chipotle mustard, (chili paste optional) balsamic and garlic

    brussels bath

    brussels bath

  4. lay those on a different foil lined pan and bake with chicken.. but these have to bake for about 30-45 minIMG_0568
  5. whilst that is baking, boil your broth and quinoa for 15 minutes. 
  6. open cans and dump all the things (in quinoa section above) into quinoa and mix until you are happy…

    mexican quinoa

    mexican quinoa

  7. sautee bells in EVOO and blackened
  8. toss brussels with bells 
  9. plate that shit up into your finest mismatched tupperware!
  10. Also….I am going to take this time to express how much I love knives… and kitchen gadgets.  Like this here Mezaluna.
cilantro

cilantro

It’s an ancient tool that is used for chopping herbs. Mine was passed down to me and I use it every day. It makes me dance when I use it….and I get happy. Now you can shove off and get happy too!

IMG_0562

Meal Prep Monday

 

Tags: , , ,

Meal Prep Mondays, Mate!

Meal Prep Mondays, Mate!

Look, I realize I’m a sexy beast although not a fitness model…. and that I am not a food coach of any kind. BUT, I do eat clean and healthy during the week in order to TRY to not be the fatest version of myself. Oh yea, you know I love cheese and butter…but on Mondays I meal prep for success.  That means, steamed veggies, baked or grilled protein, low sodium (with the help of my fav seasonings from http://bing.flavorgod.com/) and low calorie high complex carbs and proteins. It’s not hard when you love to cook…but lets say you don’t love to cook.. (WTF is wrong with you anyway?) Here’s my go to easy AF meal prep. So you whiners can’t say “it takes too long” or “I like pizza too much”. Duh, don’t we all.

…..In-greed-ients:

  • 3 chicken boobies
  • 8 0z (1 cup) quinoa (I like the rainbow kind because its bootyful)
  • 1 3/4 cup garlic chicken broth (low sodium)
  • 2-3 cups Brussels sprouts
  • flavorgod lemon garlic seasoning
  • flavorgod spicy everything seasoning
  • thyme & a lemon & olive oil
  • some god damned self control
  • oh yea, foil, and an oven that doesn’t suck

….. the healthy magic:

  1. Preheat oven to 400*
  2. zest lemon, coat with olive oil, spread thyme & spicy everything seasoning all over thawed, dry chicken boobs
  3. bake in foil pouch 30-40 min depending on the thickness of your boobs
  4. add quinoa to broth, boil 10-15 min
  5. steam Brussels over boiling quinoa in a steamer pot
  6. toss Brussels in lemon juice and lemon garlic seasoning
  7. squeeze lemon juice over chicken
  8. (self control) try not to add salt or parm or butter… cause that defeats the whole damn purpose

….alternate route

  • sometimes I add sautéed baby bella shrooms with onion and garlic to my quinoa blend because its tasty as hell and we all  needs the vitamin D!  Yes, she wants the D.

~This is a lunch prep only, you realize that you will also have to prepare breakfast snacks and dinner.  Ideal choices are boiled eggs, a veggie & fruit snack with nuts or rice cakes, even a badass shake would pair well with this daily plan like a visalus shake: http://visalus.com/products/challenge-kits.

When your nutritious delicious lunch noms are complete, divvy it up equally into these handy dandy meal prep containers: http://www.amazon.com/Meal-Prep-Containers-Microwavable-Dishwasher/dp/B00TBMW6LO .  I only make them for mon-fri since I have to be realistic. I need to have cheat days to survive. Those days are called the weekend and I thoroughly fucking enjoy them. Now go mealprep.. and keelhaul your latest diet fad. Just make better damn choices.  Pick a day… any day… and make it your prep day for the entire week and never give up! GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!

 

Tags: