When I get the pleasure of eating something amazeballs you not only get dinner, with me you also get a show. I am a eat dancer. I can’t help but wiggle and giggle and moan and sing and make derpy faces. I’m usually bouncing on the booth more than my minion when we go out. I can’t help it. I loooove good food. That does NOT mean that healthy and simple pleases me any less. All I ever really want is to try everything once.. and also I really want to share my (forcibly if necessary via social networking) findings of how simple it is to eat clean and healthy and to cook that way also. I am occasionally made aware of how annoying it is (for others) to see my constant posts on instagram, facebook, snapchat…ect… regarding my “Mealprep Monday” low calorie, low sodium, high protein weekly meal prepping…but I don’t give a flying fat fuck. I have been trying so hard for at least 3 or 4 years to keep up some kind of healthy weekly eating habits because on most weekends I am a hedonistic, gluttonous food whore. Thusly, my sexy, plump, bod can’t afford to eat like shit during the week. I am duly trying to inspire others to try new shit, because i’m helpful as fuck. So stop being a lazy askhole (someone who asks for meal prep advice & googles healthy new ideas but never actually does it) and start cooking for yourself and your humans every day. Buy that weird ass fruit, or funky looking veggie, try that spice, and use that immersion blender thingy behind all the pots. You might find out something about yourself that you didn’t already know. If you have no time, pick one day and make that your meal prep day. If you already do this.. Huzzah to you! I know I am not alone… just seems that way with all of my evil, fast food eating, land lubber friends that tempt me….(whom I lub). Aye, I eat at sonic a couple times a year.. when I’m drunk, tater tots are my kryptonite. Aye, spur of the moment queso and margaritas with the wenches, are a gals best friend… but otherwise am a very routine captain and I feel that if you don’t prepare for success you are just preparing for failure… and goonies never say die!
I like to keep it simple for meal prep and then get all fancy and shit for dinner because as i’m sure your thinking it too….
We usually do well with keeping the hunger kraken away when I prepare snacks and lunches only, I can’t meal prep dinners when I am a self proclaimed home cook, I need to experiment and play. So our routine is a protein shake with spinach and nanas for breakfast, a snack of chicken salad with greek yogurt, lunch, and 2nd snack of raw fruit and veggies, then what ever the fuck my cray dinner plans are. Here is one of my “goto” weekly lunches. It’s my favorite because it’s super healthy and not boring or gross or weird. Even my neighbor that hates brussel sprouts likes this one. Lets do this…
- boneless skinless chicken breasts either 5 or 10 depending on your tax filing status.
- a lemon
- Flavorgods –Lemon garlic seasoning
- baby bell peppers – they come in a bag usually – lots of them… sliced into rounds
- brussel sprouts, like 2 bags of them, shredded, whole, halved.. .whatevs
- balsamic vinegrette
- chipotle mustard
- chili paste – optional of course
- minced garlic
- blackened seasoning
- quinoa – 1 cup
- low sodium chicken broth – 2 cups
- 1 can drained chick peas / garbanzo beans
- 1/2 can drained low sodium black beans
- 1/2 can drained golden hominy
- 1/2 cup pico (tomato, white onion, cilantro, jalepenos in lime juice.. usually find premade stuff and use that)
- fresh cilantro
- cumin & onion powder
- lime juice
…….the mealprep magic:
- coat thawed poultry boosoms with EVOO, seasonings and top with a lemon slice and juice.
- bake chicken on a foil lined pan per instructions.. usually about 400 for 15-25 min depending on thickness
- toss brussels with chipotle mustard, (chili paste optional) balsamic and garlic
- lay those on a different foil lined pan and bake with chicken.. but these have to bake for about 30-45 min
- whilst that is baking, boil your broth and quinoa for 15 minutes.
- open cans and dump all the things (in quinoa section above) into quinoa and mix until you are happy…
- sautee bells in EVOO and blackened
- toss brussels with bells
- plate that shit up into your finest mismatched tupperware!
- Also….I am going to take this time to express how much I love knives… and kitchen gadgets. Like this here Mezaluna.
It’s an ancient tool that is used for chopping herbs. Mine was passed down to me and I use it every day. It makes me dance when I use it….and I get happy. Now you can shove off and get happy too!