This fourth of July I made several things (I will post next). One of which was my “goin HAM rolls”. These rolls aren’t magic but they are pretty damned tasty… enough to be requested every year. I scoured the internet for a recipe just like it but apparently it’s pretty original. Everyone makes these with just pickles and cream cheese or rolled in tortilla to make pinwheels…ok. What ever floats your schooner. I usually alter my recipes over time…this one is from my late momma and I don’t have to change it at all. Mother effing Perfection rolled up and swallowed. The key to a great “party appetizer” is simple first, then tasty… don’t try to be too fancy when it just needs to be a counter top finger food item. From the Master at Arms down to the powder monkeys and swabbers alike, they will ALL have their dirty nose pickers all over these sons a bitches. So get out the biggest cutting board you’ve got in the scullery and go crazy! AAAAAaahhhhhhh!
…….in-greed-ients:
- 2 packs of rectangle ham. Comes with about 20 or so pieces of ham.
- 2 packs of 8 0z cream cheese -the softer the better
- 1 yellow bell sliced long ways very thin
- 2-3 roma tomatoes sliced in long strips
- 2 giant dill pickles – sliced thin strips but slice out soft seedy middles and eat them now.. you probably need a snack… and no one likes soggy pickle spears in their ham rolls.
- several slices of red onion – use the outside long pieces not the small round center pieces
- 7-9 pieces of pre cooked bacon (I like the spicy jalepeno bacon for this)
- 5-6 slices of sharp cheddar cheese -sliced in 1/4 inch thin strips
- flavorgod, spicy everything seasoning –Spicy Everything
- Himalayan salt & cracked pepper
- garlic powder
……. ROLL magic:
- cut everything to fit the size of the ham rolls, nothing should stick out on the sides.
- lay out them slices of ham all over the board
- take about a whole finger sized chunk of cream cheese and slap it on one side of the ham slice, continue this for all slices.. put cream cheese finger on the same side on all.
- use a butter knife to spread the cream cheese across the ham… not the entire slice should be covered…just leave a half inch not slathered.
- place a piece of bacon on the blank spaces
- place a slice of bell
- slice of pickle
- slice of onion
- slice of tomato
- slice of thin cheese
- sprinkle all with seasonings
- start roll with food side and roll towards thick cream cheese side. The cream cheese will be like glue.
- eat the rest of the stuffs… my favorite part.
AVAST YE! You’ve done it. Now try not to eat them all before the party. Here is some wacky ass shit. Watch it….and GO HAM!
