A pirates life for me!, Taco Tuesday

Squash Taco boat with holy green sauce!

Hells muthafuckn yeah! It’s taco Tuesday again. So here’s one of my fav taco dishes fo dat ass.  It’s actually good for your ass too, because it’s made from a butternut squash! First of all, I really dig butternut squashes because they are so useful for every season.   Secondly, because they look like disco sticks.  I know, I know, sorry.. but tis true, and any time I can serve phallic shaped foods is fun for me, fun for you, fun for everyone! Alas, there is no picking this up and looking silly eating it.  It shall be devoured with a “dinglehopper”!  Yes, this dish is a “better choice” taco because it’s stuffed to the gills with lean ground turkey and other crap that’s good for you.  Long live… you!  And long live the Captain…. that’s me. 🙂


  • 1 butternut squash (the most “King Richard” shaped one you can find)
  • 1 lb lean ground turkey
  • 2- 3 tomatoes (depends on the voluptuousness of these ladies)
  • 1 white onion
  • 1 can low sodium black beans (rinsed)
  • olive oil (some…?)
  • Himalayan pink salt & fresh cracked black pepper
  • mexican shredded cheese …. if you wish to top this marvelous creature with its gooey goodness

…..holy green sauce batman!

  • 1 clove garlic -peeled with this other phallic like yet really badass thing

  • 1 juice of lime
  • cilantro -hand full
  • 1 serrano pepper -seeded and chopped
  • 1 green ancho pepper – roasted is better
  • 1/4 avocado
  • olive oil
  • chipotle powder
  • light greek yogurt -a heaping spoonful
  • flavorgod’s “spicy everything” seasoning
  • a pinch of salt
  • a squirt bottle (cooks that don’t play, already have one of these…get one son)

……the magic begins

  1. preheat oven to 400*
  2. Slice that wang in half, scoop out its seed and  lube it all up with OIL (or butter if you live dangerously) on the inside and salt & pepper
  3. bake it UPSIDE DOWN for about 30-40 min, until its pokeable, then slice some cubes out of the middle but leave a good amount like a bowl on the sides.
  4. whilst this is baking brown diced onions in olive oil in skillet, add turkey and brown until…. well.. until its brown.
  5. add diced tomato and rinsed black beans… cook a wee bit more
  6. whilst THAT is cooking, blend all sauce items in a blender, food processor, immersion blender…what evs. Blend that shit till creamy. If its too thick to be squirted, add more olive oil and lime juice.
  7. Now mix butternut chunks with meat mixture, and scoop back into the squash halves and broil on low for 8-10 min with or without cheese.
  8. fill squirt bottle with green stuff, and squirt the holy green sauce all. over. that. Johnson.
  9. take many pictures and send them to your friends
  10. Now, I can tell you, to eat a D.

So, this serves two hungry adults….. and some children who wont eat the squash, but they will eat the taco mix stuffed into some cheap ass taco shells.  They might pick out some of the beans or onions… but they can’t get them all!  I tell mine to “Eat it or starve you little insubordinate skullsucker! Walk the plank!”

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